Why Being a ‘Bitch’ is Better for Your Mental Health

Growing up in the Midwest, I was raised with the idea that being nice is practically a moral obligation. We wave to strangers, hold doors open even when the person is a mile down the sidewalk, and always have a smile ready. That kind of politeness was second nature to me for most of my life. But the older I got, the more I realized that being nice—at the cost of my own peace—wasn't doing me any favors.

I’ve always cared what people think of me. It’s like it was wired into my DNA from a young age. Maybe it stems from deeper issues—a need to be liked, to be validated—but either way, it pushed me into this exhausting habit of people-pleasing. I thought that in order to be happy, I needed to be liked by everyone. But here’s the truth: the harder I worked to make everyone else happy, the less happy I was.

When you're constantly giving, pretending, and bending to make sure no one gets upset with you, you're running yourself dry. You lose a part of yourself. And that’s where being a “bitch” comes in—not as the villain of the story, but as the savior.

Being a “bitch” isn’t about being rude or mean—it’s about setting boundaries and protecting your own energy. It's about choosing your peace over someone else's comfort, especially if their comfort comes at the expense of your well-being. When you stop prioritizing everyone else’s feelings over your own, you start to thrive mentally. Science even backs this up—people who set clear boundaries are less stressed, experience less anxiety, and have more authentic, meaningful relationships.